Human connections can be complex regardless of who they are with. For some, learning to navigate those emotions can be a lifelong process on a good day. But when that person you love passes away suddenly, thrusting you into a world of pure survival, things can get a bit more complicated.
Singer CHIQUIS experienced a kind of trial by fire at a young age upon the death of her mother, Jenni Rivera.
In a recent interview on the Latina to Latina podcast with journalist Alicia Menendez, the author of “The Girl Who Sings to Bees” admits that it wasn’t until recently that she began to really heal her relationship with her mom. The tactic she’s utilized? Talking to her.
CHIQUIS revealed that she’s struggled with coming to terms with the complex emotions left in the wake of her mother’s passing
The Mexican-American singer, actress, and businesswoman passed away in December 2012 in a plane crash in Mexico. Before her passing, La Diva de la Banda was recognized as one of the most successful female singers of the grupero genre of all time.
For the CHIQUIS, the journey life has taken her on hasn’t been the easiest. In the interview, she shares how, after Rivera’s passing, she was left to care for her younger siblings.
Menendez kicks off the interview by asking the entrepreneur about the philosophy of “having conversations” with her late mother and how soon after her passing she started doing this.
“So, the first two years after my mom passed were very difficult,” CHIQUIS begins.
The podcast host continues, “I was very upset with her. I was angry at the world. I started ‘speaking’ to her a little bit more just recently. Barely. I can honestly say that I feel like I forgave my mom fully for everything and stopped blaming her for everything a couple of months ago.”
“And I’m a very honest person… I would speak to her — I had like phases for, like, ‘Okay, I’m good with mom,’ but I was so focused on my career, focused on my siblings, focused on just surviving, that I just–I was–I spent too much time upset,” she states.
CHIQUIS asserts, “Now I’m just so in love with her. Now I’m like, ‘Wow.’”
The singer revealed that she’s at a moment in her life where she’s allowing herself more freedom
She credits the impetus for her new lease on life to her younger brother moving out of their family home. CHIQUIS notes that this proved to be an aha moment for her. It shocking her out of the reality that she’s grown accustomed to.
“It wasn’t until Johnny moved out, my brother, who’s 24. He moved out last year in February that I think that’s where it started. When he moved out, I’m like, ‘Oh my goodness, this is all I’ve ever known is to take care of other people.’ Now he’s gone, he’s all grown up, and so I think it started there,” the children’s book author adds.
CHIQUIS explains how doing “some indigenous medicine” allowed her to tap into her “inner child.” Exploring her inner child also allowed her to hold a more compassionate space for her mother.
“I think because of how I grew up, I wasn’t able to really be a child. I always had to be responsible. I went through so much that now I’m allowing myself to really just explore the world and have an imagination,” she continued.
The “CHIQUIS sin Filtro” star also shared how “being loved the right way” helped her out tremendously.
“I think I was looking for love in all the wrong places, and I started looking inward. So I think it was a series of things. It was just a long process. But I think it was when I was able to just see my mom for her, also as a little girl, having a child. She was 15 when she had me. So, I’ve learned to have more compassion for her,” she concludes.
